We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
