i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
