u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
