I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
