oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
