sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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