Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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