Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
