im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
