i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
