Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
