after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
