Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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