He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
