I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
