There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
