I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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