When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
