your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
