You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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