stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
