I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
