where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
