Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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