My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
