yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
