i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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