It's Friday. Sex?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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