so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
