there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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