Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
