he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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