Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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