is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
