I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize