when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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