You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
