Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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