At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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