Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
