I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
