this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
