i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
