Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
