We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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