I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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