I'm drive I can fine osifer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
