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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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• (716): View more from New York

  So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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• (530): View more from California

  I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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• (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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• (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

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• (716): View more from New York

  Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.

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