I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
