my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
