I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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