I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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