its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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