I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
