Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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