rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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