"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
