Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
