Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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