I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
