i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so much tequila, so little girl.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
