I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
...so i touched it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
